Contradicting Existence
by Ciela Aberk
Summary: She wished she was real, so that she can always be with them. But then.. That wish is everything but a fleeting dream that will never come true. it's just another petty memories of a fail puppet. A Xion, Roxas, and Axel friendship drabble.


My first Kingdom Hearts fanfic. Actually, I'm a fan of Roxas and Xion pairing, but then I can't imagine me making a fanfic about them so.. I thought I will never make any KH stories. But foila! This came to my mind, and I just have to make this! Enjoy everyone!

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Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, you can't possibly think I do anyway..

It hurts. It hurts so much.

It felt like thousand of needles are piercing her flesh. Shredding her muscles, breaking her bones and joints.

She knows that this is only her imagination, it's just the image of fear that her mind is creating.

It's just an illusion. Just a petty little dream.

But then... It felt so real that she can even feel the metallic taste of blood at the back of her tongue.

Invisible flames are burning her whole body, slowly dissipating her consciousness.

Her muscles starting to go numb, they can no longer move the way her brain is commanding them to.

Do you know that sometimes life has a turning point..? So tremendous, so sharp, and so unexpected, that one's life will change forever.

It happened to her when she learned the truth.

She was given a choice, each of them has a different and contrast ending.

She had wondered what will be hers eventually.

And This is it. This is her ending.

She's going to die.

Wait, dying isn't the right word at all. She wasn't suppose to exist in the beginning with anyway.

She can't be classified as a human being.

And she's not a heartless.

She's also not even a nobody.

She's a failure copy. She's just a mistake that life just made.

She's something that should have been nothing.

She's the contradiction itself. She's alive, and yet she's also as good as dead.

Her name might be Xion, and yet she is also Sora.

She's a she, and yet she's a he.

She's just an illusion, a shadow, a fake. She will fade within time, and there will be nothing to prove that she is once there.

That she had once experience the feel of "living".

They will not remember her, and she might even not remember them.

Their friendship will be overshadowed in Sora's mind as his friendship with Kairi and Riku.

She might even forget "Xion". And this time, she will be one with Sora.

It hurts. It really hurts.

Not only her body, but her heart. She was hurt physically and in the same time, mentally.

See..? Yet another contradiction in her existence.

She doesn't even had a heart.

And yet why..? Why must she suffers this unexplainable excruciating pain...?

An image of her, Roxas, and Axel suddenly flashed in her mind.

And somehow it looked foreign to her.

They looked happy.

They laughed, they joked around. They do what all best friends do.

And yet the girl inside of her mind, it felt like she was another person. Like she was not her.

Is this how people looked like when they are oblivious to the bitter taste of truth..?

Did she look so annoyingly innocent and happy when she didn't know the first thing about her existent...?

And then there it is again. The stinging pain in her non-existed heart.

But this time, it held more darkness inside of it.

She realizes that she envied her old self, she wishes that she never did know anything about her true origin.

She wished she can be an individual again, to be herself and not anyone's memory. She wished she can be the old and innocent Xion. The Xion Roxas and Axel knew.

She wished their friendship will last forever.

She wished that comforting warmness to be hers eternally.

She wished they can laugh together at the clock tower. Enjoying the salt yet sweet sea-salt ice cream.

And yet, the die has been cast. She had decided to go back to Sora.

She will probably forgot all this mind babbling in a mere more seconds.

If she closes her eyes now, she will surely disappear inside of the Sora's mind stream. And she will simply disappeared.

But you know what..? In that seconds of desperation, she suddenly realizes that their friendship and those beautiful moments worth more than her sufferings.

And before she let herself drowned in the darkness.

She drifts her mind into the moments where she, Roxas, and Axel where together as friends.

She remembered the time when Axel and Roxas cheered her up when she can't summon the keyblade.

And the heavenly taste of the ice creams they have eaten almost everyday at the clock tower.

"Yes..." She whispered to herself, her lips formed into a gentle smile as she lets her body and mind relaxed, finally accepts her fateful end.

They are definitely worth it.

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Well... Don't forget to drop a review everyone! Thx for reading~ xD


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